Captain John Smith is running for President and he needs your help.

That’s right, Capt. John Smith of colonial days. His love of the Chesapeake Bay and the environment extends to today.

Smith, when asked about his campaign, said, “I stand not just for a clean Chesapeake Bay; I stand for clean rivers and streams all across America. For if we can clean up the Chesapeake Bay, and working together we bloody well can clean up every stream, river, and bay in this country. We can make the Chesapeake a model for restoration success, for the rest of the nation and for the rest of the world.”

Campaign staffers suggest that the best way, at this late hour in the campaign season, to get Smith’s name included on ballots is to sign this petition. 10,000 signatures gets it done.

I’m doing it. Are you?

Disclaimer: The Smith campaign is a parody because, obviously, the dude has been dead for 400 years or so. However, the need for a clean Bay, rivers and the ecosystem as a whole is a strong enough cause to vote for even today. Sign this petition and help it get done.