Category Archives: Personal

Snapshot 11:5:12 8:23 PM-2

A Visual Tour of My Life

Google is really scary. On the other hand, Google brings the world closer together. And it’s with that idea that I’m going to take my readers on a little tour of my life.

I’ve move around a lot in life. Such is the life of a minister’s kid. Spent years in central Africa. Lived all over Maryland… twice (getting ready for a third time). Lived in snowy New York. Lived all over. Usually if I were to give someone a tour, I’d have them in a car and drive around through old neighborhoods, passing by old houses, telling stories.

I’m going to do that now because I’m in a reminiscing mood.

It started in Tonawanda, NY – a city-suburb of Buffalo. The very first home I lived in on Roswell Ave. Sadly, I don’t know anything about that place because I was too young to even remember it.

Lovejoy, Buffalo, New York

My first memories of life happened on Longnecker St in East Buffalo. I actually have a surprisingly good recollection of this place. I remember that it was in this place, my dad who was a line man for the power company, would come in with ice in his beard. I remember when he put in a wood burning stove into the house and built the chimney. Never have I felt a hotter heat than that.

I remember the milk machine on the corner of Lovejoy and Longnecker. Yes, we had milk machines back in the 70s.

I lived in the Lovejoy neighborhood, which was always a sketchy place to live but has become a terribly drug-ridden neighborhood today even since my earliest memories in the early 80s.

Kinshasa, D.R.C. (Zaïre)

In 1984, my parents moved us out to the Democratic Republic of Congo (then Zaîre) where they were missionaries. I remember these days very well. How many American kids can really say they spent time growing up in third world Africa? Not many.

Sadly, Google Street View has not gotten to Kinshasa (and probably won’t for awhile), so I rely on what photos are available of the area nearby where I lived. Here is a photo of the Rte de Matadi, a “highway” that runs between the capital city of Kinshasa and one of the provincial capitals, Matadi. It, to this day, is one of the few usable inter-city roads in the country.

Bukavu, D.R.C.

Bukavu was an interesting 6 months of my life. We moved from Kinshasa to the eastern side of the country to a provincial capital surrounded by rain forest. It was quite isolated. We lived in an old hotel that was turned into a sprawling palatial duplex with another American family living in the other side.

This estate sat on top of the highest point in the city and overlooked Lake Kivu, one of Africa’s Great Lakes that is torturously poisoned by methane gas from the volcanic activity in the region, and unsafe for humans, to the north and across the border into Rwanda to the northeast.

For the recent history buffs, during the genocide that continues to happen but began in Rwanda (Think Hotel Rwanda), Bukavu became a refugee camp for people streaming across the border. In fact, CNN reported on this development in the early 1990s from my front lawn. I did not live there anymore, but nonetheless… that happened.

Photo by Nick Hobgood

Photo by Nick Hobgood

Back in Buffalo

The time in Bukavu was short-lived as the entire family contracted a form of airborne Hepatitis. No, we were not all promiscuous, what with me being the oldest of 3 at 11 years old. It’s just life in a third world country and is the reason that, to this day, I cannot give blood – and never will be able to.

My dad was evacuated to Nairobi, Kenya for emergency medical attention and we all flew home to Buffalo for observation and testing shortly after that and lived there a year before we were cleared medically to return. During 1987, we lived in a little house in the Buffalo suburb of Depew. This is where I lived (I believe :P).

Kinshasa Again

In 1988, we moved back to Kinshasa. Political forces that were the ominous clouds of what would ultimately come were brewing and after a year, we, along with several other American families, were ejected from the country. While some returned, we never would. In 1991, revolution would overcome the country as tribal hatred spread from Rwanda into Eastern Zaïre and would continue until dictator “President” Mobutu Sese Seko would overthrown and exiled by rebel forces led by Laurent Kabila. The civil war continues in parts of the Congo today.

This is a satellite view (again, no street view, but the satellite imagery is far better than when I looked at it last – nice work, Google) of a mostly American neighborhood named Joli Park. On our street, almost all residents were American and Canadian missionary and embassy workers.

The Move to Maryland

After returning from Zaïre, we moved to Maryland. Of all my U.S. experience at the ripe old age of almost 13, I’d never lived outside of Buffalo. I was not prepared for the intense summer humidity and change of lifestye. I learned how to catch crabs with just a piece of twine and chicken bait tied to the piers here at Hunter’s Harbor on the Magothy River in Pasadena, MD.

While in that neighborhood, I lived in this house for a year and made friends with my next-door neighbor, Tim, who introduced me to the finer things in life like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Mega Man. It was also at this house that I encountered my first, and thankfully only “Warrior Turtle” – a three-legged alligator snapping turtle that looked like he had personally won World War II for the Allies and was looking to make sure someone paid for it.

Severna Park Troubles

A year later, we moved about 10 miles away to Severna Park where we famously lived in the sub-development next to Pat Sajak’s. It was also the pinnacle of my teenage rebellion where I suppose I may have had the brilliance to try running away from home. Literally, running away from home. With my dad on my heels running after me down the middle of the street. Did I think I could get far? Clearly I did. Do I laugh at myself now? Sure… and I know I could run faster than my dad now. :)

As a bonus, I played my one and only play in high school football at Severn School where, as a member of the JV squad (and mostly practice at that), I was sent in to play a route as a WR… I wasn’t going to get the ball. I was just going to run a route. As a defensive back by position, I was so nervous I lined up 7 yards off the line of scrimmage instead of on the line, as a receiver should, and the play was whistled dead for illegal formation, thus ending my illustrious high school football career.

Back to Pasadena

In the next two years, I lived in two more houses. I began my working life at first, beginning a job at Wendy’s 2 blocks from my house. To this day, I have a few people I keep up with. I hope that tomorrow, when Maryland approves Question 6 allowing marriage equality in the state, I will be able to attend my old boss’s, and current friend’s, wedding to his long-time partner.

In the second of homes in that time, I wasn’t actually home much. I got my first vehicle when I turned 18 and I liked to spend my time working or out with friends getting into trouble. I would finally leave home (and this home) to head to upstate New York in 1995. (It’s that house behind the tree)

Bible School

Which leads me to Lima, NY and Elim Bible Institute. Once upon a time, I wanted to be a preacher. So I started doing what I was supposed to to become one. That meant enrolling in Elim, and moving north to the great one-stoplight town 17 miles south of Rochester – Lima, NY.

I never was good with academics, though, so this really only lasted a year. Also, my family moved up there too which put more pressure on me as a young adult trying to find my own way in the world. I’d leave after only a year on “The Hill”. At least Google got this photo on the one day there wasn’t piles of drifting snow.

NYC

I took my talents, in October of 1996, to Astoria, Queens where I would live for two years and fall in love with the City. I still love New York to this day. Living on a small stipend plus room, board and meals for free, I volunteered my time with an organization that worked largely with the homeless population in the city, the New York School of Urban Ministry (or NYSUM).

I owe the two years I spent in New York for my personal bias toward New York-style pizza, public transportation, and dangerously safe driving.

I also owe my time in New York to where my mind began to open up to more progressive, and non-traditional philosophical ideas, much to the dismay of the religious leadership around me.

Back to Maryland

In Oct of 1998, I left NYC and went back to Lima for a short time. It was a few months after that, that I moved back to Maryland in an old Chevy S-10 pickup truck my dad gave me since I was broke and couldn’t afford a car and he needed a new one anyway. In all rights, that truck shouldn’t have made it past the Village line, but in fact it got me to Baltimore and gave me wheels for a month or two before it finally choked.

I holed up in a Glen Burnie apartment where I worked multiple jobs and would eventually meet a girl who would become the mother of my son a few years later. Although we didn’t last, this period is somewhat memorable for me.

I would get married 22 months later and we would find the cheapest place we could afford, even if it meant living out in the country. That led us to a single bedroom apartment adjoined to a house on acres of land in the middle of nowhere, Carroll County, MD (for which I have no visual evidence).

When we moved again, to be closer to work, we’d hole up in a basement apartment in a private home. It was terrible.

In 2003, we bought a house on the Baltimore City/County line and lived there for 18 months, selling before the housing market imploded. It was in this house that we had our son, Devin, who is now 9. I was working as a contractor for the Navy in DC and had decided at the age of 27 to enlist. A long story why that didn’t happen would follow, but sufficed it to say, that never transpired. The house is bigger than what it looks like and wasn’t bad for a first home.

In 2004, we moved into a smaller apartment that was supposed to be temporary until I shipped for basic training and got my orders. Like I said, that never happened so what was meant to be a temporary solution ended up being home for several year. Essentially until our divorce.

I moved to Alexandria, VA to live with a friend for about six months in late 2008-09. I won’t post his home because he still lives there but then, it was back to Maryland. I was feeling the DC thing after Baltimore. I had begun to develop friendships with DC folks and as a newly single man, I like the opportunity for some level of anonymity while I explored my new world in a new city. It was really quite awkward, looking back, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I would live in Bethesda, MD from 2009-2010, almost 1.5y.

Google doesn’t take it’s car back there. I can only imagine that when they passed by, it was the 2010 #Snowpocalypse and they couldn’t get in.

Now I’m in Austin. I won’t show you these photos either, for privacy, and I’m moving back to Baltimore, God willing, in January. So the saga continues.

I really wanted to just share this stuff though. It makes me nostalgic and technology is both terrifying and amazing.

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Austin, Texas.


Back in 2007, I visited Austin for the first time with Jeremy Wright for SXSW. I fell in love with the city and have come back for every SXSW since. The truth is, as I’ve since realized, is that Austin is better when it’s not SXSW time and I have spent the past few months coming back and visiting this city every month for a week or more.

As of this past weekend, though, that has all changed. I live here now. I have a job here now (which I will announce more about when it is formalized this week). I have a girlfriend here. I have a built in community here.

In Austin, there are plenty of startups. Besides the one I will be working with, it claims startups like Other Inbox and Gowalla. The sense here is that people feel empowered to be entrepreneurial.

This is a far cry from DC where only a small subsection of people felt entrepreneurial, but most opted to work inside the governmental complex of agencies, NGOs, contractors, non-profits and public affairs. While that is all well and good, I have always believed that the human spirit is a creative one that can only be satiated by creating things, and that is the essence of entrepreneurship.

I have no love for DC. I have lived there for the last year and a half and before that, I spent most of my life 45 minutes up the road in Baltimore. I am not sad that I have left. In Austin, I look forward to resetting life and starting over. The last time I did not share my home with someone else was in 1999. The last time I had to start from scratch and buy everything new in order to make a house a home was… in 1999. Fortunately, I’m in a better position to do that then I was 11 years ago.

I made mistakes in DC that I don’t intend to make in Austin. A year and a half ago, I entered a city and approached it from a social stand point. While I made good friends, they were rare instead replaced by hundreds of acquaintances. The people with enough depth of character and heart to be truly friends can be counted on one hand.

In Austin, I refuse to play the social game. I’m diving deep. I’d rather have a dozen people in my circle that know me well and I know them well, than have 100 people that know me enough to be my friend on Facebook but are mainly just acquaintances.

Lessons learned from before. This is a chance to start over. I plan to take it.

Honey, I’m home.

Photo by Visualist Images.

Sharing Mini Stories

Clearly, I don’t update this blog enough. Not that I feel like I have to. It’s my personal blog. I can do anything and say anything I want to. However, one thing I DO do a lot of is surf the web. Via Twitter and Friendfeed, not to mention links passed in IM chats, I spend a lot of time discovering new content that I really like.

So I’ve added a new feature, for this blog, that will share content I find interesting. IT’s smaller font-size so it’s different than normal posts. Hope you enjoy it.

New York City

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/smaku/133656648/">smaku</a>
New York City.

Once before I walked these streets.

The contrast between rich and poor. White, Black, Latino.

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mtl_shag/32023418/">OliverN5</a>

Urban decay and iconic imagery.

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hi-phi/414988973/">hi-phi</a>

I’ve been back since, rarely for the same reasons as the time before, but always for something.

There’s always something. Something innovative. Something advanced. Something dismal. Something sexy. Something, something, something. There’s always something.

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/larimdame/102180205/">larimdame</a>

Among the throngs of soccer teams from Europe, high school groups from Iowa, brokers and politicians from Boston, Washington, Los Angeles and Tokyo.

Through it all there are people. People with burdens they carry. Some not even realizing they carry it.

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallyg/246865556/">wallyg</a>

Yet their eyes do. Their eyes betray feelings of anxiety and pain. Broken relationships, and expensive mortgages. Women breaking a lofty glass ceiling. Men mired in the turmoil of the stress of today. Children with no hope for tomorrow.

Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kk/807129/">Kris Krug</a>

They live here. They breathe here. They abide here. This is their home and they know nothing else.

This is New York. For so many reasons, I love it, I feel it.

Change is in the Air

By now, people who follow me on Twitter or other places around the web may have picked up on the fact that I’m going through changes right now.

I guess everyone is. The economy is bad. Jobs are hard to come by. It just seems like that cycle of life has come where everything changes for good or for bad.

For me, my changes come in the form of living in a new city, in a new state, in a new house… and with a new housemate.

I guess the first indication something was up was when I changed my Facebook relationship status from Married to It’s Complicated. No that wasn’t a joke or some crude publicity stunt to see how many people noticed. It really did happen.

Actually, the complication began six months ago and out of respect for my wife, I won’t go into those details publicly. Needless to say, things have not been good or healthy and there is adequate blame to go around.

It became clear that things were not going to work out for us back in August but having been married for eight years, having a 5 year old boy, having financial concerns, family concerns, to name just a few it was not as easy as just saying “Goodbye”.

I think we both have agreed that “Goodbye” had to be a healthy (as much as possible) goodbye without anger and with respect.

Last weekend, we began the process of saying “Goodbye”. We had possibly our best conversation of our entire marriage, a two hour long intimate moment where we laughed, cried and put it all out on the table. Funny when couples are at the final moment, they get that way. I guess there’s nothing to protect or lose at that point.

On Sunday, I moved in with a good friend in Alexandria, Virginia and am acclimating to a new lifestyle.

My changes involve not living at home with my wife or son, living in a different state, in a different Metro area (Finally in the DC Metro!) and I am actively changing my lifestyle habits.

It will take time for everything to settle down. I’ve already been approached for dates (which is weird!) but am not really looking for anything more than friends.

The next months, particularly with the economy, I’m planning on focusing everything I have on work and business. I’m an independent consultant and my bread and butter relies on closing deals and building WordPress-related products and services.

I will probably do a bit of personal travel. Maybe now is a good time to do that cross-country drive I’ve wanted to do for years now? I will be making friends (I always got along better with women than men, particularly before I got married and before I tamed things down on that front).

I don’t plan to get into another relationship anytime soon. This is me time.

I plan to spend a fair bit of time in Baltimore with my son as well. He is my pride and joy and I’m devastated about what this means for him.

At any rate, I figured I needed to say what happened since everyone seems so curious about my personal life. Which is also weird. :)

FDR vs. GWB

A visual representation of wartime speeches by Presidents (As inspired by Thomas Hawk who compares speeches of candidates in a visual fashion). Click each image for full size.

President Roosevelt went to Congress to ask for a Declaration of War, the last time any American President has followed Constitutional guidelines for such action.

FDR Speech

And President George W. Bush’s address to Congress where he declared war himself:

Bush Speech

Happy Birthday, Son

I spend a lot of time talking about work, and technology and business. Here, I might talk about politics. These are all important(ish) things to me. Certainly things that are “safe” territory, whatever that means. It’s funny though how the most important thing in my life… I don’t talk about. Rarely, anyway.

Jedi Kid

He’s going to be five tomorrow. Five. My son – my only son – my only child. He just started Kindergarten and on his first Friday, he wanted to know why he couldn’t go to school the next day. Yeah, son… keep that mentality for the next 13 years, will ya?

He’s certainly given me a world of memories in his five short years. For instance, I remember his first Big Word™. He referred to the big airplane as a “commercial airliner” (Oh and he properly identified the airline as Continental).

And that time at Six Flags when he saw Batman? That was priceless.

Or the zoo, where he was all excited about the pandas.

How about every time I open Flickr and he starts pointing out every person he knows.

The fact that he was four when he began Kindergarten but he tested at an age six level, so they admitted him in early.

I’m really proud of my son. He may be the most intelligent kid ever. And he’s personable (usually, unless he hasn’t had a nap). It is rare when anyone has to raise their voice to tell him to behave. He just knows what is right and how to behave.

Where did this kid come from?

His mom is a little concerned about when he might start taking interest in girls? As a dad, I’m kinda looking forward to that. I wonder what might strike his fancy? I’m lobbying for bright-eyed, outgoing girl who appreciates an extremely intelligent boy who knows how to have fun (Am I writing personal ads at this point?)

Anyways, happy birthday, Devin. I love you!

Gustav and Katrina

Happy Labor day to most. Stay safe for those on the Gulf Coast. Unlike most people, I have some inside track on how this Hurricane stuff goes down. Not to question coverage on television, but it really does not convey the destruction of these storms. Nothing can, outside of actually being there and seeing the destruction.

Fortunately, it looks like New Orleans escaped any real hardcore damage this time around. A lot of that, I think, has to do with the track of Gustav. It came in to the west of the city. This means that the vicious winds and tornados certainly did impact the Big Easy, but the flooding was not a recap of Katrina.

To understand this, you have to understand the circulation is counter clockwise. That means, on the east side of the storm is where the initial storm surge occurs as the winds push the water up onto the coast. New Orleans is not right on the coast. During Katrina, they received the back-push on the west side of the storm as winds whipped around from the north and pushed the waters of Lake Pontchartrain back into the city (Lake P is north of New Orleans). This was the real devastation of Katrina as the actual storm had little major impact (it was on the west side of the path, generally known as the calmer side).

This meant that, during Katrina, which came ashore around Biloxi, MS the bulk of the storm related damage was in eastern Mississippi and Alabama and the New Orleans damage was a result of after-effects and broken levees.

I spent some time in Mississippi on a cleanup mission and dug up photos from last night. You can see the entire photoset on Flickr.

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