Happy 61st Birthday, Douglas Adams
Happy 21st Amendment Day (or the Repeal of Prohibition). 79 years ago today, Congress ratified the 21st amendment which repealed the 18th Amendment banning the manufacturing, sale or transport of alcohol in the United States.
Here’s a fun story.
In 1918, when the 18th Amendment was ratified, there was a healthy bar and saloon scene in the western railroad town of El Paso, Texas. On March 5, 1918 (when Prohibition was ratified), El Paso, along with the rest of the country, turned out the lights and closed their doors for, what seemed like, the final time ever.
The next morning, across the border in Juárez, Mexico, these bars and saloons re-opened a mere few miles away from their original location. This actually served to be a boost in the economy for both El Paso and Juárez, which was wracked with crime (still is, just cartel crime now!).
For El Paso, it suddenly meant that the railroad that went through town and stopped there as a breaking point would actually develop into a tourism line. More people making the journey from east to west, or vica versa, took the Union Pacific railroad that took a northerly route through Kansas and Colorado. The El Paso line was less-used… until Prohibition.
Tourists and travelers could take a night off on the El Paso train line and head over into Mexico to get their drink on and get back on the train to continue their journey the next day.
See? Told you it was a fun story. And a fun Texas story at that.
Photo by doug88888. Used under Creative Commons.
I hear you’re coming back tomorrow. I know this is really short notice, but I wanted to let you know that if I have any say in the decision about where you come back to, it should be Austin.
Why Austin? Well… let me tell you.
First, when you come back, there will still be tons of people here. We’re not really the type of people you want to take home to Dad, if you get what I mean.
Plus, most people in Austin are from California. Bringing them back would be, like, contradictory to everything in the Gospels about being kind to each other. You can’t be kind to the rest of the people who are going to go back with you and make them suffer with Californians.
Next, there’s shows. Bob Schneider is playing at Antones tomorrow and that’s a show you won’t want to miss. I’m sure you’ve heard him before since you’re, like, all omniscient and shit… but seeing him live? You have to. Tickets are $15 which, I know for you isn’t a whole lot since you’ve got, like, a cattle on a thousand hills or something.
But really, you want to do the Master of Pancakes show at Alamo Drafthouse. It’s sorta like Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (Do they have Comedy Central in heaven?), but live and in person. They are doing a Nicholas Cage-off. Seriously, Jesus?
Finally, it’s got to suck to be single for over 2000 years. There’s girls here. Lots of them. And Austin is one of the best single cities in America. Need I say more?
If you don’t decide on Austin, at least do me a favor and try not to choose to return to someplace stupid… like San Antonio… or Los Angeles… or Des Moines.
The one where @onefinejay explains CSRF hacking attacks to an obviously average person.
“Ok so let’s say you click on an innocuous looking link, but then your Facebook updates with “i like to have hot lesbian action with one-legged obese women,” THAT’s CSRF.”
It’s Raining in Baltimore a little toward Sullivan Street. I guess it’s going to be a Long December Round Here. This happens Time and Time Again. I guess that makes me the Rain King.
So, I’m just going to put my Hand in My Pocket, smoke some Mary Jane, and hope to Wake Up later. Isn’t it Ironic?
Or, sadly, I’ll end up heading Back to Hell since there’s no way to Prevent this Tragedy. It’s the nature of The Poison.
Or better, maybe I’ll wake up in the Arms of a Woman I can call Sweet Pea. And tell All my Friends who will think I’m scraping the Bottom of the Barrel.
That will inevitably lead to a fight where I ask them to Take it Back. Then I’ll feel bad and tell them that Maybe You’re Right and head back to the Old Apartment. I’ll feel bad about my life and imagine what I’d do if I had $1,000,000. Bah, It’s All Been Done.
Later, after I feel bad for awhile, everything will be cool between my friends and I and we will Come Together. Dear Prudence! Oh well. Oh blah Di Oh blah Da, life goes on. I’m so Tired and my life is so Helter Skelter. Good Night, I’m a Loser! Turn on the Rock n’ Roll Music. It’s Still Rock n Roll to Me. I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party. This happens Eight Days a Week.
I could get a hooker. But nah… Can’t Buy me Love. Is there Another Girl? Help! Let it Be… Maybe she’ll Stay.
So I head to Pflugerville…. Rockin’ the Suburbs. I do the Best Imitation of Myself… and Uncle Walter… who is a creepy old guy, so I get nowhere. At least there’s Video.
But I found her! She was an LA Woman which was a Shock to the System. After spending some Mony, Mony and a yippy Rebel Yell, we decide on a White Wedding. Oh What a Night!
She’s Always a Woman… Especially after she gets a Captain Jack and Coke. Yum. She’s already ready to Say Goodbye to Hollywood. She claims a New York State of Mind, but I’m convincing her that Austin is better. It’s just Honesty.
Shit, now she’s talking about Allentown. Pennsylvania?! WTF! And Maybe Miami 2017?! Plan ahead much? She’s too much of an Uptown Girl.
Whatever. I was Born in the U.S.A. and it’s all the U.S.A. Certainly not the Glory Days in Darlington County, thank God. Who likes Jersey anyway?
Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm. This is what happens When I Go Out With Artists. We end up back In the Days of Caveman when God Shuffled His Feet. I Think I’ll Disappear now.
It’s Friday i’m in Love. I’m also High and sing a Lovesong. Why Can’t I Be Like You, bring you Close to Me In Between Days. Let’s Go to Bed. Just Say Yes.
Eek, I find out she’s a Woman Like a Man! Run!!!! Does this make her the Blower’s Daughter? Ick! Cheers Darlin’! I don’t want to ask you to Be My Husband. I don’t roll that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! LA Woman, my ass…
So Morning Calls and I think of a Ghost of a Good Thing. There’s Several Ways to Die Trying.
I’m So Damn Lucky. This is woman #40. Six after #34. In case you can’t do basic math. Should I Stay or Leave? On to #41? It’s Out of My Hands. This is the Last Stop. I’m such a Pig she says drunkenly. Go ahead, woman… Crash Into Me. Talk to the Bartender. That’s not water. Don’t Drink the Water. It’s from the Louisiana Bayou where they make Alligator Pie with Big Eyed Fish, Captain…
Heh. Crack a Bottle, you’re drunk. I’ll get you home, babe. Especially with an A*s Like That. I’m So Bad. One shot 2 Shot. It’s Curtain’s Down. We’re Going Through Changes, Slim Shady. Space Bound!
It’s So Easy. Get on the Nighttrain, Mr. Brownstone. You’re Crazy, Sweet Child o’ Mine. Don’t Cry.
I’ve got 99 Problems, girl, and that’s as Real as it Gets. I can’t be Young Forever. I want to Run this Town, but I guess I’ll need an Encore. I’m So Ambitious.
On to the Next One.
Today, I spent hours listening to the synchronized “live” mission audio of the Apollo 11 mission on wechoosethemoon.org, a project of the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum. A few moments ago, Neil Armstrong landed on the moon.
I mixed those last few minutes with Pink Floyd’s “Brain Damage”, a.k.a Dark Side of the Moon.
In case you missed it:
Since I can’t be at Gnomedex and can’t submit a limerick for the limerick contest via the official, blessed, in-person method for attendees, I’ll just blog it.
Of course, Sarah Lacy ran a train wreck session today. It wasn’t as bad as SXSW, but it was very shallow and aimless for a Gnomedex crowd. I felt kind of bad for her because, well, Gnomedex crowds are harsh and you have to bring your A-game.
So, here’s my Sarah Lacy/Gnomedex limerick:
There once was a girl named Sarah
Who presented at confs and was scareh!
She decided she knew
Better than you
And now she has Twitter wary