Author Archives: Aaron

About Aaron

Aaron Brazell is an Austin, TX-based entrepreneur at WP Engine, WordPress core contributor and author. He wrote the book WordPress Bible and has been publishing on the web since 2000. You can follow him on Twitter, on his personal blog and view his photography at The Aperture Filter.

Game Planning Super Bowl XLVI: Giants vs. Patriots

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Super Bowl XLVI

Photo Credit: Carl Van Rooy

Super Bowl XLVI is upon us and everyone is bloviating about what needs to happen in this game for either team to win. I’m on the record as rooting for the Giants, which sets up the third year in a row of abandoning the AFC. I will always root for the AFC unless it’s the Steelers, Colts or Patriots – and guess who has represented the AFC in this and the last two Super Bowls… the Colts, Steelers and now the Patriots.

But putting personal football bias aside, there are keys to winning this game for both teams and I think it’s going to be a good game.

For the Giants to win…

The Giants have a difficult road ahead facing one of the most elite quarterbacks that has ever played the game of football. Indeed, they have a good quarterback (I’m still not ready to give Eli Manning the much-ballyhooed ‘elite’ status…) who is very capable of winning this game by himself. But he won’t win this game by himself. He’s going to need Brandon Jacobs, Hakeem Nicks and company.

The Giants defense has to step up. They have to get their blitz on on more than third down. Unfortunately, if you put 8 in the box all the time, you’re leaving Gronkowski, Welker and Hernandez undercovered. But I think they need to commit to the blitz early. Load up the box, get Brady scrambling. Brady has been known to throw interceptions and incomplete passes and generally is prone to some Really Bad Life Decisions(TM) when under pressure. You let him sit in the pocket, and it doesn’t matter how strong your pass coverage is… he will eat you for lunch.

On the flip side, they have to double team Gronkowski as much as possible. That, leaves Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez open but based on their patterns, the Giants are more able to cover those two inside one on one, than leaving Gronk in one on one.

On offense, the Giants have to run the ball. They have to burn the clock and own time of possession. Brandon Jacobs needs a fumble-less game and as long as he can get 3-4 yards on every touch, the Giants should be able to accomplish this. And it shouldn’t be hard, considering the New England defensive line has allowed 4.51 yards average running. Of course, this also has the added benefit of setting up the play action to Mario Manningham or the long ball to Victor Cruz… both of which could be the difference between winning a tempo game.

For the Patriots to win…

The recipe for a Patriots win is what it often is – rely on Brady, get out to a fast start and get the Giants back on the defensive. Obviously, this all starts on the Offensive Line. Statistically, the Patriots line is weakest on the left side. That is the worst side to be weak on as that is Brady’s blind side. Matt Light has to do his job in protection because the Giants will blitz from that side. If Brady has time in the pocket, then it’s over.

The Patriots like to use the “Bunch” formation which stacks three recievers on one side of the line. This usually means a passing setup, where the recievers are able to explode off the line together before hitting routes, causing confusion (and maybe collisions) on the defensive side of the ball. Against the Cowboys earlier this year, the Patriots enhanced the bunch by using it effectively in the run game.

I don’t want to put too much weight on the Patriots running game. I think the Giants can handle BenJarvus Green-Ellis and keep him a non-factor. But if the Pats can effectively use the Bunch Run, they have a dangerous combination that will force the Giants to pay attention to the run, as well as the pass.

Welcome to Baltimore! (Or a Playoff Weekend Guide to Charm City)

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It’s no secret that I’m a Ravens fan. Even sitting here in a coffee shop deep in the heart of Texas (with my cowboy hat, boot, deep Texas drawl and a ‘preciation for all those who venture into our fair area of heaven 1). So, it’s with deep pride that I send Houston Texans back to my hometown for an ass-whoopin’.

I travel a lot for football. It’s kind of my hobby. This year, I was back in Baltimore for the Week 6 matchup against these same Texans and the Week 16 matchup on Christmas Eve for the Cleveland Browns game. I also visited Seattle 2 in November.

In Baltimore, we make no bones about the fact that we’re the better team than our opponent in almost every case. We’re undefeated at home and in our division, the toughest in football. However, we do welcome fans from other cities and want you to have a good time.

Just don’t be a jerk!

With that said, we hope you spend the weekend in the city and give us your money at our many fine establishments. Here’s some ideas.

Sports Legends Museum at Camden Yards and the Babe Ruth Museum

Baltimore has a steeped sports tradition. From the Baltimore Orioles who have put out such hall of famers such as Earl Weaver, Cal Ripken, Jr., Jim Palmer, Brooks Robinson, Frank Robinson and more to the Baltimore Colts and Johnny Unitas to the Baltimore Bullets (now the Washington Wizards)… the tradition is rich. Babe Ruth was, of course, born in Baltimore. Take a trip just west of Camden Yards (located north of M&T Bank Stadium 3 to the Babe Ruth Museum or to the Northwest corner of Camden Yards to the Sports Legends Museum.

Website: http://www.baberuthmuseum.com

Brewer’s Art

Gain an appreciation for one of the better places to get a home-grown brew. The Brewer’s Art, located in Baltimore’s artsy Mt. Royal district, is built into ancient tunnels that once existed under modern-day Charles St. The tunnels existed for the purpose of pulling cannons through in the unfortunate situation where Ft. McHenry had to be scuttled. It’s dark and homey and makes some of the best microbrews I’ve ever tasted – The Ressurection Ale, an Abbey-style weighing in at 7%, and the Ozzy, a duvel-style weighing in at 7.25%.

Website: http://www.thebrewersart.com

Luckies’s for a Dedicated Texans fan Patriots-Broncos Watch Party

Luckies’s is a fun place in Baltimore’s Power Plant Live! district 4, for all things Texas sports. It’s also the home of the local Texas Longhorns alumni group and you can find this dedicated group there on weekend in the fall watching the Longhorns win (unless they’re losing).

Behind the bar, they have a dedicated Texas “mug club” for the dedicated members with the burnt orange prominently displayed throughout. Though I’m aware that Houston is *cough cough* Aggies country, they are opening up the bar for a special watch party for Texans fans interested in seeing Tebow, or the Patriots on Saturday. That event starts at 3pm and apparently, a Houston DJ is flying in to DJ after the game. 5

Website: https://www.facebook.com/LuckiesTavernBaltimore

Crabcakes

You can’t go to Maryland without getting a Crabcake. Sorry, Houston… Gulf crabs are not the same. And anything fried should be avoided – broiled only! There are always some passionate opinions about what is best. I recommend (if you have wheels), heading just south of town to G&M. Do not head to Phillips. Many of my favorite haunts are closed since I moved away so I asked local Baltimore folks on Twitter for recommendations.

@OneFineJay: Best takeout: Roy’s in Glen Burnie. Also, Hellas.

@scott_cover: koko’s or faidleys always good

Welcome but Behave!

As one Texans journalist noted in an article this week, you’re an uninvited guest. We want you to have fun but please don’t be a jerk. To Texans fans credit, I have visited both Reliant Stadium in purple and the Texans game earlier in 2011 in Baltimore. In both cases, Texans fans were great. We know we don’t match your amazing tailgating prowess, but we do a pretty good job. Get in there and mix it up with fans… just don’t be that guy (or girl!) that is pissing the locals off. This ain’t Texas. :)

Notes:

  1. Not really! ↩
  2. Worst fans in the NFL! ↩
  3. You can just call it the Vault! ↩
  4. Avoid at night unless you like college-age bros and hos ↩
  5. unconfirmed ↩

My Maryland Cream of Crab Soup with a Texas Twist

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Once a year, I am invited to a holiday potluck and every year, I’m asked to make my Maryland Cream of Crab Soup. My recipe has evolved over time and now, as a Texas resident, have added a new twist on it.

Ingredients

  • 1 quart of Half and Half
  • 1 quart of heavy whipping cream
  • 1 pint of milk
  • 1 cup of unsalted butter
  • 1 package of bacon
  • 1 Tbsp fresh parsley
  • 1 Jalapeño
  • 1/2 yellow onion
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Old Bay seasoning
  • 1 lb lump crab meat

Making Awesomeness

Step 1: Cook entire package of bacon until crispy

Step 2: In a big saucepan, combine the milk, Half and Half and heavy whipping cream together – gently to avoid bubbles and froth – and bring to a boil. Stir often.

Step 3: In a skillet, sauté diced onion in a 1/2 cup of butter. Optional: When the bacon is done cooking, sauté the onions in the bacon grease. It’s a personal choice what you want.

Step 4: Slice up a jalapeño for a bit of Texas variety. Keep seeds for additional hots, or get rid of them if you just want the sweet jalapeño flavor.

Step 5: When the “milk mix” comes to a boil, add a 1/2c of butter, the jalapenos, the fried onions (strain off the excess grease), the parsley, salt, pepper and bacon cut into tiny or small pieces. Add the crab meat slowly being careful to “scoop” it in. DO NOT USE A FORK. USE YOUR HANDS. Add 6 Tbsp of Old Bay gradually. Reduce heat and cook for an hour, stirring frequently on low heat.

Step 6: Dinner is served. This recipe serves 8 and is based on my taste. You can experiment and make it yours. Add Old Bay, salt and pepper for extra garnish or add cornstarch to thicken it up.

That’s it. This is definitely awesome for cold nights. It’ll warm you to the core. It also does well as leftovers after the flavors have the chance to really blend together. It pairs well with Chardonnay or some light flavored beer like a Dogfishead 60 Minute IPA. It does not go well with heavy red wines or dark malty beers. It’s just all too heavy.

Enjoy! Let me know if you riff on this recipe.

Let Free Agency Begin

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The 8th Circuit Court issued their ruling on the legality of the NFL lockout. They said the lockout was legal the injunction barring the lockout was not legal, but this money paragraph tells me that though players under contract can be locked out, those not under contract cannot as there is no employer-employee relationship.

Another portion of the injunction is not foreclosed by § 4(a). The district court enjoined not only the League’s lockout of employees, i.e., players under contract, but also the League’s refusal to deal with non-employees, i.e., free agents and prospective players or “rookies.” As to these latter groups of players, § 4(a) does not apply. The refusal of the League and NFL clubs to deal with free agents and rookies is not a refusal “to remain in any relation of employment,” for there is no existing employment relationship in which “to remain.”

An injunction with respect to the League’s actions toward free agents and rookies, however, cannot be issued except in strict conformity with § 7 of the NLGA, 29 U.S.C. § 107, because this is “a case involving or growing out of a labor dispute.” Id. §§ 101, 107. The present injunction does not conform to § 7

To me, that suggests free agency must open immediately. The only question is under which rules. Probably the 2010 rules, barring a new CBA. Free agents and rookies signed to contracts would then be effectively locked out… but they would have a contract and teams can start the free agency chaos.

Real Ale 15th Anniversary

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I love Texas beer. This weekend, my friend Melanie paid a visit to Austin from San Francisco and we decided to head out to Blanco, TX to participate in the Real Ale 15th Anniversary celebration.

Enjoy these photographs, but remember: You are not allowed to use these for commercial purposes or without giving me credit. Not even to spice up that nice blog post of yours. :)

An Open Letter to Jesus: Come to Austin

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Photo by doug88888. Used under Creative Commons.

Dear Jesus-

I hear you’re coming back tomorrow. I know this is really short notice, but I wanted to let you know that if I have any say in the decision about where you come back to, it should be Austin.

Why Austin? Well… let me tell you.

First, when you come back, there will still be tons of people here. We’re not really the type of people you want to take home to Dad, if you get what I mean.

Plus, most people in Austin are from California. Bringing them back would be, like, contradictory to everything in the Gospels about being kind to each other. You can’t be kind to the rest of the people who are going to go back with you and make them suffer with Californians.

Next, there’s shows. Bob Schneider is playing at Antones tomorrow and that’s a show you won’t want to miss. I’m sure you’ve heard him before since you’re, like, all omniscient and shit… but seeing him live? You have to. Tickets are $15 which, I know for you isn’t a whole lot since you’ve got, like, a cattle on a thousand hills or something.

But really, you want to do the Master of Pancakes show at Alamo Drafthouse. It’s sorta like Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (Do they have Comedy Central in heaven?), but live and in person. They are doing a Nicholas Cage-off. Seriously, Jesus?

Finally, it’s got to suck to be single for over 2000 years. There’s girls here. Lots of them. And Austin is one of the best single cities in America. Need I say more?

If you don’t decide on Austin, at least do me a favor and try not to choose to return to someplace stupid… like San Antonio… or Los Angeles… or Des Moines.

K?

Thx.

Bai!

Love Always,

Aaron

I’m a Daddy Once Again

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Yesterday was a special day for me as Fender came into my life. He’s about 25lb and, best as I can tell, a purebred smooth haired Fox Terrier. (Update: Now that I have his records, I know he’s a Rat Terrier mix.)

I became aware of Fender on Thursday evening at ATX Twestival when my friend Blair (@austindirtydog) informed me of a rescue situation. You can read the really jacked up story about how a woman pretended to “find” Fender and turn him over to my friend Selene at Whole Foods. Further investigation revealed that this woman did not find Fender, but that in fact, was the owner of Fender.

Regardless, (as I brush away white Fender hair that has collected on my keyboard), Selene took Fender in and promised to find a good home for him. I got to meet him on Saturday when I brought my roommate (who needed to approve of the adoption) and my friend Kat (@RealAustin) and her fur kid Bear, a Boston Terrier, to Zilker Park to meet Fender.

I received word yesterday that Fender could not wait to be done with his traumatic week and find a new home with me.

He has begun settling in really well. I feel like he may have been abused because he has some skittishness, especially around men and sudden movements. But he’s so mild mannered and comfortable already. He seems to have some skittishness about parts of the apartment. For instance, he is really hesitant to go through the hallway to get to my room, but once he’s in my room he’s fine and won’t move. He slept all night with me and didn’t wake me up.

I remember when my ex and I had our son, Nicole made sure he understood that when Daddy was asleep, don’t wake him up. Devin understood this very early on. I’m not fun when I’m woke up. Fender seems to already understand this and peacefully waited for me to wake up this morning.

There’s still a lot I have to do and get at the pet store. I’ll have to experiment with food. He doesn’t seem to like the dry stuff but the raw meat kinds of food, he’s totally into. We’ll have to figure out how to make that scale economically. :-)

Of course, this means lifestyle changes for me as well. More time will be spent at home and I’ll have to plan for quick trips home every night, if I plan to be out late. There will be a lot more walking and maybe running. He’s got short legs so I don’t know how he’ll do running while I’m riding on my bike. He’s a hunter so he wants to stop and sniff out every little thing he gets a scent of. Heh.

I’m excited to be a daddy again, even if it isn’t quite the same as having a little boy.

A Tribute to My iTunes: a Short Story

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Photo by Craig Cloutier
A short story.

It’s Raining in Baltimore a little toward Sullivan Street. I guess it’s going to be a Long December Round Here. This happens Time and Time Again. I guess that makes me the Rain King.

So, I’m just going to put my Hand in My Pocket, smoke some Mary Jane, and hope to Wake Up later. Isn’t it Ironic?

Or, sadly, I’ll end up heading Back to Hell since there’s no way to Prevent this Tragedy. It’s the nature of The Poison.

Or better, maybe I’ll wake up in the Arms of a Woman I can call Sweet Pea. And tell All my Friends who will think I’m scraping the Bottom of the Barrel.

That will inevitably lead to a fight where I ask them to Take it Back. Then I’ll feel bad and tell them that Maybe You’re Right and head back to the Old Apartment. I’ll feel bad about my life and imagine what I’d do if I had $1,000,000. Bah, It’s All Been Done.

Later, after I feel bad for awhile, everything will be cool between my friends and I and we will Come Together. Dear Prudence! Oh well. Oh blah Di Oh blah Da, life goes on. I’m so Tired and my life is so Helter Skelter. Good Night, I’m a Loser! Turn on the Rock n’ Roll Music. It’s Still Rock n Roll to Me. I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party. This happens Eight Days a Week.

I could get a hooker. But nah… Can’t Buy me Love. Is there Another Girl? Help! Let it Be… Maybe she’ll Stay.

So I head to Pflugerville…. Rockin’ the Suburbs. I do the Best Imitation of Myself… and Uncle Walter… who is a creepy old guy, so I get nowhere. At least there’s Video.

But I found her! She was an LA Woman which was a Shock to the System. After spending some Mony, Mony and a yippy Rebel Yell, we decide on a White Wedding. Oh What a Night!

She’s Always a Woman… Especially after she gets a Captain Jack and Coke. Yum. She’s already ready to Say Goodbye to Hollywood. She claims a New York State of Mind, but I’m convincing her that Austin is better. It’s just Honesty.

Shit, now she’s talking about Allentown. Pennsylvania?! WTF! And Maybe Miami 2017?! Plan ahead much? She’s too much of an Uptown Girl.

Whatever. I was Born in the U.S.A. and it’s all the U.S.A. Certainly not the Glory Days in Darlington County, thank God. Who likes Jersey anyway?

Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm. This is what happens When I Go Out With Artists. We end up back In the Days of Caveman when God Shuffled His Feet. I Think I’ll Disappear now.

It’s Friday i’m in Love. I’m also High and sing a Lovesong. Why Can’t I Be Like You, bring you Close to Me In Between Days. Let’s Go to Bed. Just Say Yes.

Eek, I find out she’s a Woman Like a Man! Run!!!! Does this make her the Blower’s Daughter? Ick! Cheers Darlin’! I don’t want to ask you to Be My Husband. I don’t roll that way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! LA Woman, my ass…

So Morning Calls and I think of a Ghost of a Good Thing. There’s Several Ways to Die Trying.

I’m So Damn Lucky. This is woman #40. Six after #34. In case you can’t do basic math. Should I Stay or Leave? On to #41? It’s Out of My Hands. This is the Last Stop. I’m such a Pig she says drunkenly. Go ahead, woman… Crash Into Me. Talk to the Bartender. That’s not water. Don’t Drink the Water. It’s from the Louisiana Bayou where they make Alligator Pie with Big Eyed Fish, Captain…

Heh. Crack a Bottle, you’re drunk. I’ll get you home, babe. Especially with an A*s Like That. I’m So Bad. One shot 2 Shot. It’s Curtain’s Down. We’re Going Through Changes, Slim Shady. Space Bound!

It’s So Easy. Get on the Nighttrain, Mr. Brownstone. You’re Crazy, Sweet Child o’ Mine. Don’t Cry.

I’ve got 99 Problems, girl, and that’s as Real as it Gets. I can’t be Young Forever. I want to Run this Town, but I guess I’ll need an Encore. I’m So Ambitious.

On to the Next One.