By now, people who follow me on Twitter or other places around the web may have picked up on the fact that I’m going through changes right now.
I guess everyone is. The economy is bad. Jobs are hard to come by. It just seems like that cycle of life has come where everything changes for good or for bad.
For me, my changes come in the form of living in a new city, in a new state, in a new house… and with a new housemate.
I guess the first indication something was up was when I changed my Facebook relationship status from Married to It’s Complicated. No that wasn’t a joke or some crude publicity stunt to see how many people noticed. It really did happen.
Actually, the complication began six months ago and out of respect for my wife, I won’t go into those details publicly. Needless to say, things have not been good or healthy and there is adequate blame to go around.
It became clear that things were not going to work out for us back in August but having been married for eight years, having a 5 year old boy, having financial concerns, family concerns, to name just a few it was not as easy as just saying “Goodbye”.
I think we both have agreed that “Goodbye” had to be a healthy (as much as possible) goodbye without anger and with respect.
Last weekend, we began the process of saying “Goodbye”. We had possibly our best conversation of our entire marriage, a two hour long intimate moment where we laughed, cried and put it all out on the table. Funny when couples are at the final moment, they get that way. I guess there’s nothing to protect or lose at that point.
On Sunday, I moved in with a good friend in Alexandria, Virginia and am acclimating to a new lifestyle.
My changes involve not living at home with my wife or son, living in a different state, in a different Metro area (Finally in the DC Metro!) and I am actively changing my lifestyle habits.
It will take time for everything to settle down. I’ve already been approached for dates (which is weird!) but am not really looking for anything more than friends.
The next months, particularly with the economy, I’m planning on focusing everything I have on work and business. I’m an independent consultant and my bread and butter relies on closing deals and building WordPress-related products and services.
I will probably do a bit of personal travel. Maybe now is a good time to do that cross-country drive I’ve wanted to do for years now? I will be making friends (I always got along better with women than men, particularly before I got married and before I tamed things down on that front).
I don’t plan to get into another relationship anytime soon. This is me time.
I plan to spend a fair bit of time in Baltimore with my son as well. He is my pride and joy and I’m devastated about what this means for him.
At any rate, I figured I needed to say what happened since everyone seems so curious about my personal life. Which is also weird. :)
About Aaron
Aaron, not the misery needs any more company but I too am going through some similar changes. It is truly a most volatile time in my life. As much as I think it's isolated to me, it is not. Does that give me solace? Absolutely not. I never talk about my personal life with anyone but decided to commiserate with you.
For me, I'm at the cross roads of my career. The cross roads prompted by the fact that I was given an ultimatum 3 months ago. I had till the end of October to generate more income for the company. Interesting statement given that I am not in a sales position. Made even moreso by the fact that the ceo is my sisters husband.
Trying to ignore that fact is very very difficult. Communication has dwindled to a cursory good morning and good evening. Uncomfortable would be a kind word in this case.
I'm not sure what the next few months will bring. Bankruptcy, being humbled, appreciating what you got, loving your immediate family, knowing who your true friends are, lack of sleep, stress, not eating, taking stock, resumes, brainstorming, applying for jobs, accepting the inevitable-all these thoughts and more come to mind.
I can relate on some levels what you're going through…
Marc
Peace to you as you work through things.
Best wishes to you through all these transitions. May you have the most patience, strength and determination to make this as smooth as possible for your son. Let me know if there’s any way I might be able to help out in some way.
Best of luck to you as you embark on this new stage of your life!
Sorry to hear about this dude, but thanks for sharing. I recently went through a divorce and we went through mediation. We ended up with an outcome that was positive for both parties. For the ex-spouse, me and the children much of the “bitterness” of divorce was avoided. Let me know if you’d like to know more about our mediation.
Hope you find some balance. Regardless, stay a good dad.
Aaron -
I’m sorry to hear this – I went through something similar not too long ago.
I do hope that things work out and you’re able to find a level of happiness as things settle.
And if you do the cross-country drive, you’re always welcome here in Minnesota — there are even other Red Sox fans here (other than just me!)
M
Aaron, hope it all works out; it sounds like you’re making the best out of the situation.
So sorry things got complicated. Definitely take the ‘me’ time and a cross-country trip sounds exciting. Just don’t be changing your football team now that you’ve moved south!
Good luck with everything, Aaron.